Voicemail
by ladie red
Summary: The Doctor needs someone to talk to...he'll just ignore the fact that nobody's receiving this loudly or clearly...or at all. Ten/Rose, Post Doomsday, Pre Turn Left but NOT a reunion fic!
1. Christmas

**Will be a series of little shots from Doomsday to Turn Left. The Doctor belongs to Rose, Rose belongs to the Doctor...nuff said.**

* * *

He had dialled the number without consciously meaning to. On impulse really he had parked the TARDIS somewhere insignificant and had collapse onto the edge of the grate, the TARDIS phone almost magically in his hand, the number ringing.

He vaguely recalled pulling the cord across to where he sat and absently wondering why of all things, it wasn't cordless. He had a futuristic time machine and it didn't have a cordless phone. Bit pathetic really.

The phone attempted to connected to the number for just a second, a dial tone ringing for only a moment before it cut quickly and a voice spoke, Rose's voice spoke, a voice he thought lost to this universe forever yet there it lingered, programmed into that one number.

"_Hey, this is Rose. I'm busy. Running probably."_

The Doctor couldn't help give a grin, a sad grin, but a grin all the same.

"_If this is Mum, don't panic. If this is Mickey just don't give up on a call back, please. If this is the Doctor..."_ she gave a little snort and he could just picture her shaking her head at him, a wide smile on her face, "_I'm sorry but '_don't wander off'_' is a real rubbish rule. Ah, mmm...if you're anybody else, don't expect a call back anytime soon and…cue beep!"_

The voicemail gave the obligatory sharp beep and the phone went silent, the Doctor's throat dry and his mouth unwilling to open. What an inappropriately perfect time for his gob to go on strike. Here was an ample opportunity to talk to Rose without awkward embarrassing questions thrown back at him. There had been a time, nearly two years in fact, when it seemed that that was all he did, avoid questions with a brisk change of subject, oh, he was good at those. But now, right now and probably from now 'till forever, he would give anything to hear her voice again. He'd answer any question, any. Except maybe that of his affection with Baloovian Apple Jam. She really didn't need to know the story behind _that_. Really.

Instead everything was silent. The silence echoed for eons and he gradually found that the glue sticking his tongue firmly to the roof of his mouth had begun to dislodge. He licked his lips with said tongue, glancing around the empty TARDIS as if checking to see that no one else was around before finally speaking.

"It's funny really," he began quietly, almost too quietly for him, "But I almost thought you'd actually pick up. There was the slightest possibility that the connection could reach across the..."

He trailed off and shook his head with a snort, laughing at his bout of pathetic desperation, his voice returning to its normal blabbering self.

"Oh, what am I talking about...of course it can't reach across the void. It is good, but it's not_ that_ good. Frankly I'm surprised the voicemail is still connected to the number."

He ran a hand across his face then jumped up suddenly, finding this quite a moment to pace, the stupid cord dragging after him as the phone attached to it stayed by his ear.

"It's Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas Rose. I do wonder if you're all in that big house, sitting under a tree, exchanging gifts? I got you a present you know. Well, I made it actually. But that was before…"

His sighed, realising he'd done a lap around the console and would probably become hopelessly tangled with the phone cord if he continued in this manner so changed direction, winding the cord around his finger slightly, "Has your mum given birth yet?" he asked, an unexpected grin spread across his face.

"Gods, imagine a pregnant Jackie Tyler, I'm half glad I'm not there." He immediately regretted saying that and came to a sudden stop, leaning against the console, "Is it snowing in Pete's World? I made it snow for Donna."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head warily, "Yeah, Donna, god, what a horrid woman. I don't mean that of course, not really. She was...something to wake me up..." he was silent for a good few moments as a wave of self pity swept over him.

It took a moment to realise he was wallowing but, when he did cotton on to the fact he immediately frowned and propelled himself of the console, resuming the laps around it with false vigour in his voice, "Saving the world at Christmas Rose, not in my jimjams this year, not with you this year either. But Donna was nice, Donna was good. We drained the Thames..."

He trailed off and collapsed onto the captain's seat, "I asked her to come with me. Apparently I scare her. I..." he kicked his feet up onto the console and blew a raspberry, letting his breath out in one long sigh.

"I just hope you're happy…how's Torchwood? I can't really imagine you with your name on an office door. Of course, no measly cubical for you. No, straight to the top, TARDIS travel ensures that sort of thing, must do, hope it does. I..."

There was a sudden beep as the recording space ended and the Doctor blinked, staring down at the phone in his hand as if he was confused that noise had magically emanated from it.

With a small helpless shrug he stood and slotted the phone back into its place on the console before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small wrapped package, long and shaped rather like a pencil, a small red bow tied messily on the top. He placed it carefully on the centre of the captain's seat and stared down at it for a moment knowing it would never be opened.

"Merry Christmas Rose Tyler."

* * *

**R&R :) And anyone want to guess what the present is?!  
**


	2. What If

* * *

The next time the Doctor accidentally on purpose dialled that number, he had managed to do away with cord on the phone. Seriously, a pair of scissors and a few minutes with the sonic and there...he now had a handheld. He couldn't really believe it had taken 900 years to get one, he supposed he just never actually had someone he wanted to call before now.

He was in the depths of the wardrobe somewhere, legs crossed, sitting under racks of scarves and poka-dot bath robes. Rose had found it quite hilarious when she's found them; mocking him senseless before promptly picking a purple one with pink spots that she then wore every evening in front of the television when they watched repeats of _The Dick van Dyke Show_ together.

Now he had her robe sitting in his lap and everything was silent and dark, the clothes casting airy shadows against each other, only a lazy hum coming from the TARDIS. She had slipped into night mode as soon as the Doctor and Martha had returned home and now Martha tossed and turned fretfully in her room, the Doctor subconsciously aware of her restlessness down the corridor.

When Rose's voice rang out in the darkness a small shiver ran down the Doctor's spine and his eyes closed for a moment, his head resting against a mass of coats as she spoke,

_"Hey, this is Rose. I'm busy. Running probably. If this is Mum, don't panic. If this is Mickey just don't give up on a call back, please. If this is the Doctor...I'm sorry but _'don't wander off'_ is a real rubbish rule. Ah, mmm...if you're anybody else, don't expect a call back anytime soon and…..cue beep!"_

The message beep sounded but the Doctor was silent for a few precious seconds before he opened his eyes slowly and raised the receiver to his mouth, beginning without preamble, "Lots have happened in the past few weeks, the Cult of Skaro, remember them? Oh…"

His finger found the hole in Rose's bathrobe where she had accidentally singed it during one of their many '_Sonicing for Dummies'_ lessons. He snorted, both at her rubbish attempts with the sonic screwdriver and the sheer cruelness of the world, his words becoming bitter, "Oh, of course you remember them. They're back. Well, they _were_ back. We...tangled...as such."

He rubbed his brow and decided against mentioning his selfless bordering on ridiculously suicidal '_tangling_' in this case. "Dalek Cann, he's now the only one left." The Doctor rolled his eyes and stretched his legs out, propping his feet on an old cardboard box, half collapsed and overturned with various styles of necktie spilling out of it across the floor.

"Daleks with names," he said as he picked up one of the ties and flung it into the opposite rack of clothes with his forefingers, "Rassilon, what is the world coming to?" He stared after the tie for a moment then shook his head, waking himself slightly, "Speaking of worlds, went back to New Earth and New, New, New, New, New…oh, you know what I mean. Met more cat people; nice cat people though this time, even Novice Hame seemed to have righted her wrongs. She'd been looking after Boe all these years."

His brow furrowed as he pondered over this recent event, "He told me. You know, that great secret? Yeah, he told me. Apparently I'm not alone."

The Doctor gave a shaky sigh, "I've never felt more alone in my life so don't know what he was barking about. But he died, he finally died," His voice was sombre for a moment before he shook his head with a snort, "Of course, that didn't really help his argument. Cause he died. Left me alone."

Alone. Alone like he was now, hiding in the depths of the wardrobe.

"Before that we went to Elizabethan England, met ole' Lizzie herself, even met Shakespeare...he was nice enough...the Virgin Queen on the other hand…well she tried to kill me, not sure why. Oh, and Martha too."

He added Martha's name in casually as if hoping that Rose wouldn't notice it, never mind the fact that she never would. He was wanting a reaction, knew he wouldn't get one, but yearned all the same to hear Rose trying unsuccessfully to sound not jealous.

Nothing came and with a small pang her continued, "Yeah, Martha Jones; met her on the moon, she's travelling with me at the moment. She'd be annoyed if she knew I was talking to you. Like I'm cheating on her with you."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "It's not like that, don't worry. I feel like telling her that I'm actually cheating on you with her. But you and me, we weren't even like that either. Well, we were, but we weren't. I wish we had."

He rubbed his eyes and looked down at his hands to see he had woven a series of intricate knots into the cord on Rose's bathrobe. He began to undo them as he continued the phone balancing on his shoulder, "Ah, off I go Rose, wishes and what if's…funny thing, what if's. Dangerous things, what if's. What if I decided to try out those what if's…change things, change how things turned out. You don't know how hard I fought that desire. It was like World War Three raging in my head, well, not really, World War Three involved lots of glaring and important declarations of peace that made no sense whatsoever but, the point is, you Rose Tyler, I very nearly challenged those what if's, challenged them for you. What if we'd swapped levers? What if my damn curiosity hadn't got us into trouble…again? Maybe it's a simple matter of whether we turned left or turned right? Or if I'd had another twenty seconds on that beach, huh?"

The machine suddenly beeped and the Doctor was cut off without warning, "Oh, the irony," he muttered before he simply stood and hung Rose's robe back with all the other poka-dot robes.

* * *

**R&R...and less than 12 hours until Turn Left...eek, I'm going to have that weird dream stuck in my head again. Seriously, last Friday night my dream had the Doctor and Rose uniting and bursting into song while saving the world with whole epic ensemble numbers...dancing Daleks and all. Totally bizarre, but maybe this was due to my Blackpool watching the week before. Inappropriate song and dance numbers...check. David Tennant...check. Check in to the loony bin, trust me, it's on my to do list!**


	3. Miss You

* * *

Martha had wisely left him alone, smart girl that Martha Jones. He supposed he should get out of this wet suit, maybe take off his soggy, muddy trainers. Stupid English weather, why hadn't the TARDIS given John Smith a home in Hawaii? Hawaii would have been nice, a lot of sand mind, but at least sand didn't cake onto your shoes and leave you cold and miserable. Not that he wasn't miserable already.

Joan's words still echoed in his head, _"If the Doctor had never visited us, if he'd never chosen this place... on a whim... would anybody here have died?"_

Well, yeah, actually, give it a year and a lot of people in that village would have died, will have died. That didn't make him feel better.

In desperation he locked himself in one of the bathrooms, large and echoing, the bath more of a swimming pool and took off his shoes and jacket, loosened his tie warily and letting his feet dangle over the edge of the empty bath. Her voice, when it sounded, echoed out of the phone's speaker and seemed to rebound across the room, the air alive with it.

_"Hey, this is Rose. I'm busy. Running probably. If this is Mum, don't panic. If this is Mickey just don't give up on a call back, please. If this is the Doctor...I'm sorry but _'don't wander off'_ is a real rubbish rule. Ah, mmm...if you're anybody else, don't expect a call back anytime soon and…..cue beep!"_

With his feet over the edge the Doctor lay back on the cool marble floor and gazed up at the ceiling, the phone sitting at his side, inches from his face. He glanced at it and spoke softly, "I miss you."

* * *

**I know it's short but hopefully it's sweet too. I wanted to post the other three parts before Turn Left but unfortunately that's not happening...ah well...R&R, pleases and thank-yous!**


	4. Alone

** 20-ish hours until Stolen Earth...eeek!**

* * *

The TARDIS was empty, save for him, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, nodding his head impatiently as Rose did her thing on the machine.

The beep sounded and the Doctor exploded in a rush, "You'll never believe what happened today Rose Tyler…I met some one called Alonzo! No, seriously, I did! And I looked at him and I said it, I said, "Alons-y Alonzo!"

His voice deflated a tad and he circled the console, his smile slipping, "Didn't really sound as neat as I thought, though. He gave me a funny look and nobody was there to appreciate it. Well, you weren't there."

Beat.

"Neither was Martha."

Beat.

"She left me."

Beat.

He "Remember what I said about the face of Boe? The whole 'you are not alone' smuck? Turns out he was right." He laughed warily and wiped a hand over his eyes, "Who's to argue with a big old head, right?" his expression slipped "The Master was alive."

He blinked, brow furrowed, "Not sure if I told you about the Master. He's a Timelord. For a brief period of time I wasn't the last anymore. I wasn't alone. _But,_ per usual," he waved his arms up in the air, hapless, "he tried to kill everyone. Actually _did_ kill everyone. And if it wasn't for Martha Jones and a paradoxal time reversal everybody would still be dead. Or enslaved. Martha Jones saved everyone. His grin was wide, always was when he thought of Martha, "She was brilliant. But she didn't save him. I held him in my arms as he died. Refused to regenerate the frustrating bastard."

He found himself checking everyone off with his fingers, "He died, Martha went to look after her family. Jack went back to the rift in Cardiff.., did I mention Jack's still alive?"

He sighed and collapsed onto the captain seat, "Ooooh, this is hard to keep track of….point is…it's just me in the TARDIS again. Hasn't even been five minutes since I left the Titanic."

He snorted and shook his head, "Yeah, the Titanic. Nearly crashed into Buckingham Palace. _Long_ story." he brushed it off with a wave of his hand, "But, see, my reasoning is, if I keep talking, keep talking to you…I won't realise Astrid's dead, I'm alone and I'm standing here talking to no one."

He paused for a moment, his mouth slack as he looked around him, "See, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside." He took a gulp, "Really _really_ bigger on the inside, and now it's just me. If I keep on talking to you, I might not notice that."

He knew how pathetic he sounded but there was no one else here to tell him that or to offer him comfort so he continued, "So I'll sit here and reminisce. I mentioned Astrid right? She's dead, but when she wasn't she was great. Boy, wanted to see everything she did, eyes couldn't get any wider. See, I dropped Martha off and forgot to put the shield's up. Next thing I know I bump into myself. Unusual experience, bumping into oneself. Usually impossible, but you know how impossible works with me and after some wibbly wobbly timey wimey, well, cue the Titanic crashing into the side of the TARDIS. Gave me quite a shock, let me tell you..."

The Doctor was still talking long after the message space ran out.

* * *


	5. Seriously

* * *

"Remember Donna, Donna Noble? She's travelling with me now and, unlike Martha, you have nothing to worry about in that respect. Donna...well, she reminds me of your mum. Imagine it, Rose, just imagine it. She's going to drive me..."

A voice broke his reel of words, a familiar demanding voice, "Who's Mum? What? Who are you talking to and what exactly am I going to drive you to?"

Donna had her eyebrows raised at him as she stepped into the study finding him collapsed sideways on an armchair. The Doctor blinked at her, cupping the phone on his shoulder, "What are you doing in here?" he demanded, cheeks slightly pink.

"Exploring," she said shortly, "you said to explore. Who are you talking to?"

"No one, and, when I said explore, I did actually expected you to get lost in the corridors for a few hours not exactly run into me the first room you discover."

Donna waved this all off, "You're avoiding the question. You said Rose, before," she noticed the look on his face and her questions became slightly softer, "I heard you."

She moved across the room and sat in the armchair opposite, her elbows resting on her knees as she looked across at him, as if a counsellor talking to a school child, "Look, Doctor, what is the deal here? Come on, if I'm sticking around you gotta clue me in. What, exactly do you mean when you say 'lost'? Did you two have a fight?"

The Doctor was silent and so she tried again, adding, "It really can't be something as domestic as that? Surely?" She gave him a smirk and a pair of raised eyebrows.

The Doctor snorted, looking decidedly resigned, "Oh, we fought. We just didn't win."

"I don't understand..."

The Doctor sighed and repositioned himself on the armchair, "Canary Wharf, ever heard of it?"

"Yeah, Daleks and Cybermen, like I said, I changed after I met you. I became curious." She looked trifle proud of herself but her look turned to one of disbelief at what he told her next.

"Rose and I sent them to Hell."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." The Doctor repeated with a nod.

"Stuff…happened," He waved a hand airily, "and...Rose…."

His throat became dry, he swallowed and tried again, "Rose got trapped on a parallel world. Trapped for good. We can never see each other again."

His expression hardened signalling the end of discussion and Donna could only stared at him, unsure whether to leave, or lay a sympathetic hand on his shoulder or press at him to continue. Instead they sat in stiff silence, Donna pondering this all through.

Unable to contain herself any longer she asked, "But a phone connection can reach across to this parallel world?"

Unbelievably, the Doctor rolled his eyes, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks, "No, not really."

Donna realised this was a tender subject but couldn't help her curiosity, "Then how are you talking to her?"

The Doctor sighed, "Look, Donna, if you promise to drop the subject, I'll……" he trailed off, trying to think of something before, in desperation, telling her, " I'll show you how to steer the TARDIS."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." He confirmed.

She reasoned with this bargain for a moment, then, with her jaw set, gave her answer, "Fine, but only if you answer my question first."

The Doctor smirked and wagged a finger at her, "No, because then the subject has been answered. You're rubbish at bargaining."

Donna crossed her arms, "And you're rubbish at skilfully avoiding the subject."

"_Donna..."_ he whined.

Now she was the one wagging a finger, "Ooh, I'm onto something here Doctor, I'm not going anywhere. This is good. Don't you dare whine at me..."

He tried to throw her off via sympathy, "Can't you tell this is a difficult subject for me. The whole 'Rose' issue. Just..."

She snorted, lifting herself up onto her knees, "No, no, no. That's your problem. The subject gets dropped and you never talk about it. You need to talk about it. But this isn't about you missing Rose."

"No it's...well, yes, yes it is. I miss her, it's sad. The end." He blinked at her innocently, knowing this tacked wasn't really going to result in much.

"Why are you blushing then?" Donna demanded.

He pretended to be offended, "Timelord's don't blush. Especially because of lost loved ones...what kind of person does that?"

Donna smiled, "Exactly. Blushing doesn't make sense. I walked in and you weren't crying or anything dramatic like, you started to blush... almost as if I caught you in the act."

"Well, you did."

"_What_?"

"You caught me in the act."

Donna squinted at him suspiciously, "Doing what?"

The Doctor gave her a look, "Use your imagination Donna..."

She frowned then she started to blush, getting to her feet, "Oh, oh, right...I'll just..." she pointed at the door and began to back out, "I'll just leave you to it then."

She retreated looking horrified and the Doctor grinned, putting the phone to his ear again, "Well, she seems to have a very over active imagination. Really, I'm simply talking on the phone…talking to a voice mail machine, I admit."  
He frowned, "Talking to the voicemail machine of a woman trapped on a parallel world; that stretches it a bit. That she'll, well, I mean _you_, will never even get these messages..." he trailed off and sighed, perking up as he changed the subject, "Seriously though Rose, did you hear that? She sounds like your mother, doesn't she? Which, I suppose, is good. Somebody has to slap some sense into me occasionally."

* * *

**The last part will be posted before the end of the day...I want to get it all up before I leave for England tonight. R&R ;)**


	6. The End

**So long after Turn Left and even the finale...sorry. AU-ish cause draft was written before Turn Left...edit was done this morning so I tried to maybe make it slightly canoner...er yeah. Love you all my brilliant reviewers, ciao.**

* * *

"_Hey, this is Rose. I'm busy. Running probably. If this is Mum, don't panic. If this is Mickey just don't give up on a call back, please. If this is the Doctor...I'm sorry but _'don't wander off'_ is a real rubbish rule. Ah, mmm...if you're anybody else, don't expect a call back anytime soon and…..cue beep!"_

There was a bitter smile on the Doctor's face as he listened to her speak. He wasn't in the mood today. He didn't want to be reminded that she was a universe away; he just wanted to sink into someone's arms and sit for a moment. To be comforted. Specifically, he wanted to sink into _her_ arms, to be comforted by_ her_. It wasn't that Donna wasn't the perfect comforter, no, she was good like that; but in times like this he simply didn't have the energy to pretend he wanted anyone other than his Rose. And Donna got that. Donna was brilliant. But she wasn't Rose. No one was like Rose to him, not super temps from Chiswick not even Archaeologists from the future.

So this is why, through the magic of a cordless phone, the Doctor was sitting on the sand dunes on a beach in Norway trying to picture her standing in front of him. He just wanted to be near her, to remember her. It wasn't really working; the sun was shining and half the beach was submerged in water, breathtakingly beautiful but it was all wrong for it hadn't been breathtakingly beautiful that day nearly two years before. It had been windy and cold and lifeless. Now he could almost mistake this place for just another beach out of the thousands of beaches on this planet. It wasn't their beach anymore, not really. Wrong universe too.

The Doctor pursed his lips and breathed out through his nose, his eyes squinting in the sunlight bouncing of the water as he spoke to her, "Time's been playing games with me recently. Me and the future meet each other quite often, how can we not. But me and _my_ future? Well…you see, I recently met someone. She was very unimpressed with me."

He shook his head, as if unable to believe what he was saying, "Not very nice, is it? I'm _very_ impressive."

He straightened his jacket awkwardly to stress this.

"But this woman, River, Professor River Song, I hadn't met her yet, yet she seemed to know me very, _very_ well. Do you know what I mean when I say '_very'_?"

The Doctor snorted and rolled his eyes to the heavens, "Well, that makes one of us because I wouldn't have a clue. Which is frightening and scary and means that...I don't know...wow, this is...listen to me, lost for words. It's becoming a habit. A bad habit."

He sniffed haughtily, picturing her rolling her eyes at him. "Well, you try living in my head! See what you come up with."

If he tried really, really hard he could nearly see her standing on the beach. Except she was crying. That was his last memory of her. She cried, he tried not to and they both stood there on this beach, helpless, unable to do anything about it. He hated feeling that helpless.

"Midnight." He started bitterly, "It's a planet. Sounds lovely doesn't? Remember when we went to that planet, Moonlight?" He smiled at the memory, "Did what it said on the tin, didn't it? The night sky, the moon, the stars, me and you lying on the dew covered grass looking up at that wondrous scape?" He paused and added flatly, "Well, Midnight wasn't like that. No. It wasn't."

He spread his spare hand through the sand letting the warm grain swallow his fingers, his fingers longed to clutch her fingers, hand and hand, running, doing a hell of a lot of running. Now, his hand was simply drowning in the sand. He looked around himself for a long moment then began to wonder why he was here, really, this place wasn't all he had left of Rose. He only had to step into the TARDIS to feel her presence. Scoffing at himself he pulled his hand out of the sand and stood.

"Me and Donna, we go good." The Doctor told her as he clambered to the top of the dunes, "And there are times..." He reached the top and stopped, gasping for breath a little, gazing down at the beach below, "times when you aren't hovering painfully at the front of my mind." The curves of his mouth twitched, "Sorry, but you're very frustrating, you won't leave me alone. But now, I remember you, and it doesn't hurt as much." He snorted as he looked out at the beach and turned to see the TARDIS sitting on the grassy ledge above, beaming at it, his words becoming light and almost uplifting, "It's almost as if you're here, just beyond my realisation."

He continued off to the TARDIS, bounding slightly as even footing returned and he moved across the grass, "Me and Donna go off, save the world and I feel it, I do, no matter the void that separates us, you're still here with me. I like that. I like feeling like that."

He reached the TARDIS and fumbled awkwardly for the key, the phone held in place by his shoulder. He finally managed to unlock the door but before he stepped inside, he took a look out at the beach again and regardless of the shining sun a chill crept down his spine, his voice lessening, and the words, hard to admit usually, slipping off his tongue with ease, "But lately, I've had this other feeling too." He leant against the TARDIS and closed his eyes, speaking into the phone with a manic earnest, "It feels like it did before which is the most devastating, _devastating_ part. He opened his eyes and blinked up at the blinding sun, "I can feel it again. It's not a storm this time...it's darkness. It's nothing, it's hollow. And...Rose, I'm afraid of it. I'm so afraid of it and what it might mean. Cause it's colossal and all consuming and..."

He swallowed dryly and took a big shaking breath, forcing out the last words.

"it just feels like the End."

--

The sun was shining on Bad Wolf Bay as the TARDIS dematerialised. Here the day was calm and peaceful but out there in the universe, not ours but another, Rose Tyler looked up at the sky and saw darkness; nothing but the darkness and wished, wished with all her might that she could find her Doctor.

That's when her mobile phone went bonkers and she received six new voicemail messages.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, sorry for the delay, I was on holiday. My first ever finished fic...WAHHOOOOO!**


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